


you're in a car with a beautiful boy (and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you)

by taoslefteyelid



Series: random drabbles that i'll probably never expand on [3]
Category: EXO (Band), Z.Tao (Musician)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, M/M, he's technically drunk and high (don't ask just read), i have no other way to explain this other than the fact that sehun does molly, idk dude sehun does molly and there's whipped cream involved at one point, oh also it's a, okay bye thanks, spy AU, that's it. it's a spy au. and sehun does molly., working title was, zitao is just trying not to crash the car
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taoslefteyelid/pseuds/taoslefteyelid
Summary: sometimes sehun just does molly, ya know?
Relationships: Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Oh Sehun
Series: random drabbles that i'll probably never expand on [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1212114
Kudos: 9





	you're in a car with a beautiful boy (and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you)

**Author's Note:**

> this is not meant to be taken seriously at all i'm just posting this on here from twt bc,,,, living la vida loca you know? figured someone out there could use a molly/whipped cream/spy taohun au. this... doesn't rlly have a plot or a point but sehun on molly is sexy so,,, yes. that is all. 
> 
> (also once again i am so sorry richard siken you deserve better than to only title my weird fics king)

Zitao watches nervously as Sehun stumbles down the road to where he’s standing with the car. He has the urge to run up to him, maybe steady him a bit, but he keeps himself under control. 

Sehun’s a fast stumbler, because it only takes a few seconds till his arms are wrapped around Zitao’s shoulders, and Zitao is rendered absolutely motionless as he stares at Sehun’s flushed face, centimeters from his own. 

“Hi,” Sehun mumbles, smiling wide. “I’m  _ super _ drunk.”

Zitao nods quickly, trying not to do anything stupid. “I can tell,” he says. 

Sehun grins wider, hands coming up to Zitao’s face before they wander back down to grip Zitao’s biceps. 

“We should- we should probably get out of here,” he says, and it’s obvious he’s having trouble trying not to laugh. “If someone needs the loo, they’re- they’re gonna find the body real quick.” 

Zitao’s eyes widen.

“You  _ killed  _ him? Sehun, this was-” 

“Shh,” Sehun giggles, putting his finger on Zitao’s mouth in an over-exaggerated shushing motion. “I know what this was supposed to be. Get in, seduce, get the information, and get out. But- but it’s not that easy, you know? He was asking- asking questions, and the wine was kicking in and- and he was touching my butt? I know that was the whole point of this but he didn’t even know how to do it right, like come on, man, you’re supposed to squeeze it, not just glide your hand over it? God, why did they give me honeypot? They know I suck at it-” 

“Okay, can we stop talking about your butt and focus on how you  _ murdered  _ our main source of information? I don’t know if I can fix this-” 

Sehun’s reaction time is a little delayed, which is why the offence spreads over his face a few seconds late. 

“How  _ dare  _ you, I have a perfect butt, and if I want to talk about it, I  _ will _ .” 

Zitao stares at him for a second, and realises this isn’t a battle he wants to fight right now. Or ever, for that matter. What’s he going to do, say Sehun’s butt isn’t perfect? He’s not insane. 

“Get in the car,” Zitao relents. Sehun happily clings harder to his biceps. “Hun-ah, now, get in the car. I’ll figure out how to deal with this mess later.” 

Sehun pouts.

“You’re no fun,” and then he’s stomping off to open the car door. Zitao sighs, stands there for a second, trying to recover from Sehun’s hands all over him, and then moves to enter the car himself. 

“No fun,” he repeats, as Zitao starts the car. “You used to be so cool, with your leather jacket and your motorcycle and your bending the rules and now you’re just- just-” 

Sehun seems frustrated, unable to put what he means in words, opting instead to make two thumbs down motions in Zitao’s face. 

“I’m trying to drive, Hun-ah. Mind letting me see the road?” 

“You know what I think? I think that you’re boring, and mean, and dumb- holy shit dude, you’re so fucking dumb? So stupid. Just absolutely brainless.”

“How drunk  _ are  _ you?”, Zitao asks. He’s seen Sehun drunk before at end of mission parties, even carried him home a few times after, but never like this, all giggly and dopey.

Sehun thinks for a moment.

“Hm… three, four glasses of wine? It was cheap shit, tasted bad, but the dude kept getting them for me and I couldn’t say no because that would slow me down. Oh, I’m also on- on a tab of molly, I think.” 

Zitao almost swerves them off the road, and Sehun giggles. 

“You’re on  _ molly _ ?”, he asks, hands gripping the steering way too tight. “ _ Molly? _ ” 

“Oh, calm down, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Where did you get  _ molly _ at a  _ formal dinner party? _ ”

“He slipped it to me! Handed me a tab and raised his eyebrows and I was just like  _ fine, okay,  _ because, again, it’s just molly.” 

“You’re unbelievable. Unbelievable. This is why I’m not your permanent handler.” 

“You love the field too much, anyways,” Sehun drawls. “You’re an asshole.” 

"Okay," Zitao agrees distractedly, checking the rear view mirror to see if they have a tail. Nothing can really be trusted right now, and with Sehun incapacitated, if something goes wrong, it'll all be on him to get them out of here alive. "Any other thoughts on me that you want to share?"

Sehun giggles.

"You have no idea," he mumbles out. "I have so many thoughts about you."

The phrasing of that makes Zitao heat up, from his centre, spreading into his fingertips. He wonders if the leather of the steering wheel will melt under his fingers.

"I think that you're- you're way too reckless, and that you have too many watches, and you- you need to like... take a break, because when you don't you get all grumpy and mean and then I have to put up with it, even though I did  _ nothing _ but have a tab of molly." 

Still feeling uncomfortably warm, Zitao takes a break from keeping his eyes glued to the road to give Sehun an incredulous look.

"I am just the right amount of reckless-"

"Ha! Wanna say that to me from six months from ago sitting in your hospital room because you put yourself in front of a bullet for no reason other than your stupid reckless brain?"

Sehun's got a point.

"You're too self-sacrificial," Sehun mumbles out, still seemingly intent on telling Zitao exactly what he thinks of him. "Too nice. You should see your- see your stupid fucking face anytime someone says something that makes you upset. Stupid puppy eyes and- and the most incredulous expression I've ever seen."

"Alright," Zitao says, not appreciating being dissected like this. They're still only halfway to the safehouse. "That's enough-"

"You're also really fucking hot. Has anyone ever told you that? You are  _ devastatingly  _ hot."

That's it. Years of taking down evil corporations and getting out of situations that had no visible exit, and this is what kills Zitao. A fucking car crash because Oh Sehun called him hot.

Fortunately, Zitao manages to stop the car from crashing off the road. Sehun seems blissfully unaware of what Zitao just prevented, still strapped into the passenger seat and  _ talking _ .

Zitao is not going to survive this.

"Sometimes- sometimes we're like, in the field or whatever and- and you say something, all serious, like, 'Don't move until I get back', or- or like, 'Where did you get molly at a formal dinner party?', and I just want to fucking... kiss the lights out of you. Just, right there, in the middle of the mission. You make me want to make out with you all the time."

In all his years being an agent, Zitao has never not known what to do to this degree. Sure, there have been moments involving guns and hostages and other dangerous things but it's never been like this. Zitao has never had to deal with his extremely hot friend/partner/current asset being  _ very  _ inebriated in the passenger seat of his car while mumbling about how he wants to make out with Zitao.

Does Sehun mean all this? He probably doesn't, right? Zitao should google what molly really does to people, because there's no way Sehun actually means all this.

"I would-I would date the fuck out of you," Sehun continues, oblivious to Zitao's internal crisis. "Fuck, I'd marry you if you asked. Have your babies if I could. Why don't you ever ask me out? You're so... nice and stupid and hot and I like you  _ so  _ much."

Zitao's life cannot be real. It absolutely cannot be.

"You're drunk," he tries, willing his voice to chill out. "Maybe you should try going to sleep-"

"Nooooo," Sehun whines."No, I can't, because you're there too, see?"

"I am?", Zitao squeaks out, against his better judgement. 

"Oh god, you don't even know. This- this one time, I had a dream stuff went tits up in both our agencies again, this time in fucking Paris, and- and there was this hotel room- and what I'm saying is there was only one bed and also whipped cream. Lots of it.”

“Hey, maybe it would be a good idea to not say words right now-” 

Sehun seems to decide that just the simple statement of a dream about a hotel room and whipped cream isn’t enough to let Zitao connect the dots, because then, he decides to do it himself. 

“What I mean is, we had sex and you ate whipped cream off my naked body.” 

“Ah.” 

Zitao is convinced that the only reason the two of them aren’t in a car wreck right now is because his soul has already left his body and is astral projecting and avoiding the thought of eating whipped cream off anyone’s naked body, let alone Sehun’s, while his lonely physical form continues to drive like nothing’s wrong. 

“Is that all you have to say? God, you’re boring, I need to get some molly in you.” 

“I think I’m good, but thank you,” and oh  _ no _ , now Zitao is  _ thinking  _ of eating whipped cream off Sehun’s naked body. 

“God, you know what the worst part is?” 

_ Oh my god that wasn’t even the worst part _ , Zitao catches himself thinking. He decides it would be better to just shut down his brain and throw it out of the window rather than continue thinking. 

“You never let me finish. In my dreams. You either edge me, or I get woken up by my alarm, or some stupid super mega bad guy decides to commit crimes and wake me up in the process. Just once, I wish you’d let me finish.” 

Sadly, brains are not disposable. Zitao sighs, tightens his hands around the steering wheel, and prays to God and also Satan that Sehun will pass out before they reach the safe house.

This is going to be a long night. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this also please know that the rest of my work is very not the same (except the among us fic) (don't ask)  
> thank you for reading, and goodbye !


End file.
